Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Yay! Its New Year tomorrow.. A brand new year..2009..Am looking forward to welcome it wif my loved ones. So much has happened this year. If i had a chance to turn back time, i wldnt have done certain things which i had done this year. But still, isnt that wad life is abt? Learning from ur mistakes and to live it it.
Am following my bf to his appointment later at NUH. In the evening, we are going to Sembawang beach to spend the night there. Got a 3 men tent so wldnt have any prob sleeping.
Am waiting for his call right nw. Feeling sleepy alrdy. Rosey will be back tonight. Miss her loads.
*iloveu*
1:39 AM
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Have been pretty cranky these past few days..Arrgh..My bf has been pretty understanding..i nag and nag and nag..but he understands and doesnt say anything in return. My parents have been making me feel worse. Why cant they jus let me do wad i want? Haiz. If probably i can turn back time, i wouldnt have studied so much and just stopped at diploma. Jus becos i studied till degree, i have to go to a job that they recommend. Then wad about what i want? Commentless.
My project has been going on fine..thank god. Am currently addicted to a new korean show called The Devil; a murder mystery series which involves a SUPER HOT Lawyer, a cop, and a gal wif psychic powers. Am watching the third episode now.
Jus 3 more days to New Year. Hope this coming year would be a much better year for my family and me. I started off this yr with one guy and am gonna end it with another. Even though i dun know whats gonna happen in the near future, i do wish and hope that this is the right one and i will get the chance to celebrate all festivals and new years wif him.
Thank U for understanding my situation and being so understanding these past few days darling.
So many ways to say, "I love you",
never enough to say how much.
*Iloveubaby*
8:56 PM
Friday, December 26, 2008
Christmas went ok. I wasnt really in much of a Christmas mood yesterday cos i wasnt really feeling well. My bf came over to my place after his movie outing. He was amused with the way my family was interacting with each other. My first aunt was pretty amused with his name and pronounced it with such style and she kept saying his name aloud so soon everyone in my hse knew his name and probably wont forget it, thanks to my aunt =).
A few complications among his frens made him so worried that something may go wrong between him and me. Sweetheart, just wanted to say that this time around, no matter wad happens, i will do my best to make things work. Wadever problems that should arise, i will face it with u.
*iloveubabyandumeaneverthingtome*
5 more days to New Year
12:56 PM
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Today my bf came over to my place to transfer movies from my com to his PSP. My 2 aunties and mum gave him so much of sweets and cakes that they made to eat. He carried the second boy, Avinaash and surprisingly, the baby did not cry when he was in Raj arms at all. Initially, he was quite worried to carry the baby as he didnt know how to. But he managed in the end. Haha.
After that, we made our way to Sembawang beach to watch the movie there in his PSP. Unfortunately, it was raining very heavily and unlike all the others who were busy running for shelter, we both just walked, hand in hand, in the rain. It was sooo romantic, just like in the movies..=) Ya but the sucky part was that we both were drenched and were feeling so cold.
In the end, we just took the bus back to the MRT station and settled down under one of the blks to watch the movie. We watched Oldboy, this korean movie abt a guy who gets locked up for 15 years and gets released suddenly one day and how he goes on to find out who and why was he kidnapped,ending off with a surprising twist.
Tmr he is going out for a movie with his family and we will be meeting after that. I guess there's not much to do except maybe to jus go stone arnd somewhere. Im ok wif anything as long as my sweet bf is beside me =)..haha
Lastly, Merry Xmas Everyone.
6 more days to New Year
*iloveubaby*
12:31 AM
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Am stuck at my aunt's place doing my dissertation now. Haiz, a 5000 word essay due on 30th Jan next yr. I have to finish it by the 25th which is like a mth from now. If i set my mind to it, im sure i can do it. But 5000 word essay on a male sex hormone? Of all topics i got this one. God please help me. My classmate's topic is harder. He has to write about acne. How much can u write abt pimples and acnes? In that sense, im better. There is so much to write abt a hormone. It just goes on and on.
My bf has duty today and is stuck in camp as well. Pity him. I miss him.
Managed to get him something for Christmas. Finally. Even though it was something simple, i liked it and im sure he will too.
I officially have his Sony PSP, a few of his T shirts and his passport sized foto. Hehehe.. he looks like a lost child.
Christmas is the day after tomorrow.
8 more days to New Year
*iloveudarling*
1:42 PM
Monday, December 22, 2008
Am feeling so tired right now... but still i must update on today's happenings. Met my bf at Cityhall mrt station today morning arnd 9. Haruna and Siva made their way there directly in cab. We both got ourselves lunch and 3 bottles of Coke (suppose to be 4) and made our way there.
It was soo fun wif Haruna, Siva, Shalini and Jaya. We played Uno, truth or dare(i dun wish to elaborate on the events that took place during this game), multiples of 7 and 123 bang where i kept losing cos i was too blur and ended up drinking most of the time. Even then, i managed to be steady and only felt abit tipsy. I feel so proud of myself ya. Haha.
After the whole gaming session, we 3 couples had our own personal time alone where the details shall not be discussed here. I had a great time wif my frens and my bf. I feel very happy that he was able to click wif Siva and his group of frens.
We shld probably do this sometime again. Haha. And i was not drunk after all the Chivas drinking..hahaha
Anyways my new blog skin was chosen by my boyfren. Its nice and i love it..=)
Christmas is jus 3 days away.
*iloveubaby*
10:57 PM
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Met Raj today. We were just aimlessly walking arnd Yishun the whole day till abt 10 plus. He bought me contact lens. Thx honey. If i dun change them soon, i will soon be a cock eye..like wad u always call me..haha
Got myself a top at the funfair near my place, chosen by him. Yipee am gonna wear that on New Year Eve.
Am soooo looking forward to tmr. Meeting Haruna and Siva at bedok for breakfast at 8 plus. Hopefully my bf wakes up on time.
*iloveubaby*
11:57 PM
Went to watch Twilight today wif my bf at Lido. Did I mention that the hero of the movie, also the vampire, looks fucking hot in the movie. The girl looks not bad but in the poster of the movie, she looked better. Anyways, the storyline is abt love between vampire and a mortal. A forbidden love. The movie was good but for those who read the book and went to watch it, they wld find it abit disappointing.
After that, he accompanied me to Yishun and went off to one of his fren's hse prayers. Letchu called me to ask if we could meet. He jus booked out of camp today. As much as i wanna meet him, wad if Sinna is there when we meet? Well, i guess i cant keep avoiding him for long too. Singapore is small. Haiz
Sweetheart, i just wanted to say im sorry if i had said some silly things today. I know i have and im very sorry. I didnt mean it in any hurtful way.
I dont know why i love u so much. I dont know why heart beats so fast whenever u are beside me. I dont know why i cant seem to keep my eyes off u. I dont know why i feel a pinch of sadness deep down my heart whenever we part. I only know one thing; I love u to bits and U mean the world to me.
You know you are in love
when you see the world in his eyes,
and his eyes everywhere in the world.
I know i am.
10 more days to New Year
12:30 AM
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Went temple today wif Raj.. He has gone to watch movie at Orchard wif his bro and frens..the showtime shld probably be at 2 or 3 plus.. i am planning to stay awake and wait till he gets back home..aren't i sweet? hehe
His brother was so sweet.He asked me if i could come along wif them and when we both could meet. Shld be probably during Christmas where i get to see his whole click again.
Looking forward to Mon. My bf managed to take the whole day off. They are planning to start getting intoxicated in the morning itself. I wanna sleep first before starting to drag the alcohol down. But its gonna be super fun with Shalini and her bf, Haruna and Siva. Hopefully, Siva doesnt start off the whole truth or dare thing. This time round, im not gonna do another dance no matter wad Sivashanker! Haha
Starting to feel tired alrdy. Must stay awake till my bf gets home. Haruna promised to entertain me in the meantime. She's such a sweetheart.
12:02 AM
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Yesterday was a pretty long day. After filling up all job application forms, I went over to Haruna's hse. Her dad was admitted at East Shore hospital for a minor surgery and so i went to visit him. Haruna and I often used to joke abt how her dad looks like my dad, but the smaller version and how we should never let the both of them ever meet as they may end up influencing each other..haha.
Her brothers really wanted me to put up in their hse yesterday as it was close to ten by the time we left the hospital but i couldnt. My parents have to see my face everyday if nt they cant slp. I wish my parents were more like Shaktee's parents, more to the jovial, carefree..where u can talk to them literally about anything. The min i mention the word love infront of Mr Raveendran, he gives me the stern face, asking me to go look for a job first. Haha. My parents can be such a comedy at times.
Took some pics with Mahesan and Dinesh. The visiting session became a mini photo taking session. Haruna and I attempted taking pics too but the camera wasnt really cooperating with us yesterday. The fotos turned out like crap.
I didnt meet Raj yesterday. He was feeling too tired and had to go camp earlier next day. I hate NS. Lucky Haruna. I promised Sivashanker that i would have 2 big parties in behalf of Raj when he RODs. One is because Raj is RODing, the other is because he doesnt have reservist. Isnt that awesome!
Need to have a serious talk with my dad regarding my career. Am planning to go NIE now, to a diploma and work with them. So i will have a diploma in something and a degree in Biomed. So i will have something to bounce back on even if i lose my job in the other field one day. And NIE pays for everything and i even get paid so wad more?
Just finished cleaning my cupboard today. I just realised that i actually have soo many clothes..dresses..skirts and tops. Most of it which i havent even worn before, some only worn once. I have decided to stop buying clothes for now and i have some nice clothes to wear for Christmas and New Year..Yipee!
I miss Rosey..she is in for sooo many updates when she returns. Cant wait to see the look on her face when we start updating her on all the past events.. I shld probably have a bottle of water standby in case she faints or ear plugs in case she screams..hahaha
*13 more days to New Year*
*iloveusweetheart*
2:12 PM
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Have been filling up job application forms since i time i woke up till now. Actually i only plan to start working arnd Jan cos thats when my project will end and i will know exactly how many tuition assignments i will be continuing but im just looking for a job now so that my dad will stop breathing down my neck for now.
Meanwhile, i have been eating alot..really alot.. if this continues im gonna end up looking like a big balloon..haha. My bf is soo worried that i will end up looking like his ex gf. Dun wry sweetheart, if i ever end up looking like her, i will probably kill myself.
Did i mention that my bf can be so sweet at times? Ya, yesterday when we met, he accidentally disfigured my new slippers which i jus bought yesterday. I cld have just brought the shoes to the cobbler but he brought me to a shop, got super glue and fixed my shoe for me..haha
I cant believe that Christmas is just next wk. Oh my god.
Exactly 2 wks to New Year
*iloveuKanagaraj*
12:28 PM
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Yesterday will probably be one of the days i will not forget. Raj and me met up with Haruna, siva and his frens for a mini drinking session. The events that took place after that shall not be discussed in further detail but i should say that all of us had loads of fun screwing and disturbing each other. Hahaha
I sooooo wanna watch Twilight..should drag my sweet bf to that movie probably this wkend.
15 more days to New Year*
*iloveusweetheart*
3:02 PM
Sunday, December 14, 2008
So in the end, we didnt get to watch the sunrise today morning as we both were too tired to even care abt the sunrise..haha..Yesterday he gt there at arnd 12.. and the cuckoo didnt get me food cos his fren dropped him there. I also didnt really feel hungry after tat so i jus ate the chips. We stayed awake and watched Spongebob Squarepants and talked till abt 6.30 in the morning and after that slept till abt 9 plus.
After that we made plans to watch the Surya's movie which we have been planning to watch for a long time. The movie was pretty gd..emotional at certain scenes.. I actually cried at a particular scene where his gf dies.. Surya looked hot as ever, his body was solid. I told Raj to work out his body till he has 6 packs oso. He just stared at me..haha..
After that, we just relac near Northpoint, talking abt future plans. There is so much to do in so little time.
We had our dinner and he left arnd 9.30.. So in total we spent abt 21 hrs together and even then, it didnt seem enough for me. When he left, i felt a pinch of sadness deep down my heart. I only know that i have never felt for anyone to this extent before.The feelings are so strong. When it comes to him, it just seems so different.
Things are going very well and i hope that they stay this way as always. I will give my best for him because
I love him and im crazy abt him
*IloveuKanagaraj*
10:38 PM
Saturday, December 13, 2008
ok my bf will be reaching in abt 10 mins time... cant wait..Weeee..hehe.. missing him loads and loads right now.. Haruna is entertaining me in the meantime..
*18 more days to New Year*
11:33 PM
Yesterday i finally got myself a new HP!!! Yes!!! I upgraded my m1 line and i got a sony ericsson W890i with 2GB card. My mum topped up the $68 for me cos she cldnt stand my whining anymore. Have to get a job real soon. Am getting more and more broke by the day and i hate the fact that i have to keep going back to my parents for more money. Christmas and New Yr is also approaching and there is so much to do with my family, frens and Raj. I havent even gotten him a shirt yet which i shld do real soon.
So right after i got my phone which i promised my mum that i will never ever sell no matter wad happens, i started cam whoring with my 2 baby cousins. The first one is such a poser..haha while the second one hated taking fotos. It was such a headache taking pics with him..bt i managed..haha
Then in the evening, i was suppose to go temple with Raj and Sonia bt he had work last min so only we both went. I felt so distracted when i went to the temple. It was like cos we always go to that temple together and the fact that he was nt beside me when i entered the temple, made me feel so one kind.. I oso dun noe why i felt like that...
So after praying, we both were walking arnd finding a place to eat.. and i discovered a indian restaurant. The food was really gd and the prices were not bad also. I shld bring Raj there one day.
At nite me, Raj, Haruna and Siva was in conference call. I and Siva were disturbing each other..haha as usual. Haruna & Siva were giving Raj ideas as to where to bring me tonight. Those 2 neva fail to remind me how sweet they really can be at times..haha..thx guys!
So tonight, Raj and I are gonna stay out to watch sunrise. It gonna be fun.. looking forward to it..
So above are the pics of the 2 kutties and me. They are growing up to look soo cute..my god!
*iloveusweetheartandumakemyeverydayspecial*
2:52 PM
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Have been a hardworking girl these past 2 days, working on my project.. my project has been going on well.. shld be finished by the time New Year arrives.. Am pretty much recovered from my flu.. but Raj ended up getting sick cos of me. Looks like my fever got transferred to him. Haiz. I want new clothes..handphone.. shoes..and have officially gotten permission from mummy to stay out this Sat and on New Year's eve. Yipee! Cant wait.
20 more days to New Year
*iloveu*
1:50 PM
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Have been down with fever the past 2 days. Raj, my cousin, her fren and me went for picnic at Palawan beach; Sentosa yesterday.The weather was being such a bitch and it keep raining non-stop. That was how i ended up getting fever by the time i got back. Nevertheless, the picnic was fun. My cousin and her fren kept arguing and throwing sand at each other, chasing each other and hitting each other. Haha. Raj and i were busy playing in the water and i got slammed and pushed into the water by him. Wad a loving boyfren...haha
After that, we went to eat dinner and headed back. He sent me home and by then, i was down with fever and keep sneezing and coughing. He took care of me soo well. He wiped my hair for me and tied it neatly once it was dried.
Today morning, i had to wake up early for tuition and i was still feeling very sick and drowsy. When i gt home, i took a nap but i kept waking up cos the kids and my sister was making so much of noise. Raj came all the way to Yishun to meet me after his camp. I was so touched when he got me chocolates and asked me to get well soon. I felt much better after seeing him and spending time wif him.
22 more days to a brand New Year. Looking forward to it.
*As we grow older together, As we continue to change with age, There is one thing that will never change. . . I will always keep falling in love with you. I love u Kanagaraj*
11:26 PM
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Nth much to update for now.. Went to temple on fri. Met up wif Uma and her bro there. Raj came after camp to meet us there. It has been exactly 2 yrs since i last went to that temple and after 2 yrs, i went there wif him. There was a big prayers going on there that day.
After that the 4 of us took bus to my place. Its such a coincidence of how Raj knows Uma's so called bf. Both were ITE mates..haha..the world is indeed small.After sending me off home, he went off.
Sinna has been calling me, as usual. But i just choose to avoid his calls. Now when i think back abt the things he has done and said at times, i feel so angry at myself..for being so blind and cuckoo head back then. Love is not blind..the lovers are blind. Sometymes even though the hard facts are right in front of our face, we choose not to accept it becos we are too blinded by love to want to accept it.
It seems that he msged Uma in frenster, wanting to get to know her. Im commentless abt that..
Meanwhile, it only 24 days more to New Year! Am looking forward to spending it wif my loved ones.
*iloveuKanagaraj*
2:04 PM
Friday, December 5, 2008
Went for an interview today morning to teach at pre-school. Hmm looking at the way it went, i doubt i will get the job and so have to continue finding some other job. After that, i went to Orchard to meet up wif Lester. He was flying off to Philipines this Sat and will only be back next yr jan. Am gonna miss him. I cant believe i have known him for 4 years alrdy. Time really flies.
We went over to Lido to catch the movie Sex drive. It was pretty funny..something like Euro trip. After that we were walking arnd Orchard looking for a place to have dinner while waiting for Raj to come over to meet us. I had Maple Walnut ice cream. It was heavenly. Lester ordered snails for appetiser and he persuaded me to try since i havent. I ate about 3 and it tasted sth like oysters. But i dun think i will ever eat that again.
The food arrived late and Raj ended up waiting for us long. He sounded pissed when i called him so i rushed over to meet him first with Lester finishing off his food. He didnt look pissed anymore after we met. The plan was to play pool after Lester joins us but my blur fren forgot my bag at the restaurant itself and so he went all the way back to take it while we both went to Lucky Plaza to check out the pool place. It was alrdy 10 plus by the time Les came back wif my bag and the place closes at 11. So we just chilled out at Mac while Les was showing us some funny videos.
The 2 seemed to get along pretty well and they took the same train back home. He has met almost all my frens and im glad that he is able to click wif everyone.
Many things are still disturbing me. They say that ignorance is bliss but sometymes i wonder if it really is. I dun know for how long im gonna avoid things or run away from them
If time could stand still, I’d freeze it here,
So you’d always hold me, close and near.
In your arms, where I’m meant to be,
Filled with the perfect love you’ve given me.
A bond so strong, a hold so tight,
To know you’re the one; my ‘Mr. Right’.
A blessing sent from up above,
In you I’ve found my one true love.
Our lives entwined to be as one,
Upon this journey we’ve just begun.
Where you and I will find no less,
Than eternal love and happiness.
*iloveuKanagaraj;uaremyeverything*
12:15 AM
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Feeling so disturbed and confused right now. So much of mixed emotions are causing a turmoil in my already disturbed heart. Was wif Raj just now when Sinna msged me if everything was ok and that it pained him when he saw me with someone else. I guess i saw that part coming sooner or later; where he wld msg me to ask me who is the guy or wad since i have displayed our pics in my friendster. What i didnt expect was the part where he said that it pains him. I was deeply disturbed upon seeing that msg.
I dont know who's fault is it. Is it my fault for falling in love with Raj or was it Sinna's fault for not being there when he claimed that he likes me and stuff. Where was he when i needed him? Where was he on my bd? He always goes missing and appears when he feels like it. And i was suppose to accomodate to that.
I remember those times when i used to sit and wait around for his msg,his calls or to meet up wif him. But he spends 3/4 of his free time in Krisland finding gals in friendster to make fren wif. Even though it pained at that time when i found out that he still talks to other gals and meets up wif them when i was arnd, i jus closed one eye cos i didnt have much of a choice. Or maybe becos even though we liked each other at that time, we were not together or anything. So i didnt have any rights over him or wad he does.
As time passed, i realised that he was never there when i needed him the most. He was just like a passing cloud in my life. I was getting so tired amotionally and i decided that im just wasting my time and life over him. I started moving on away from him. That was when i met Raj.
I dun understand why Sinna has to come back now. Where was he when i was there? He was never there i guess. He was only there when he felt like it. When i was with him, i always felt that i didnt matter to him as much as he mattered to me. I guess he was a very big mistake right from the beginning.
After Sinna, i didnt expect to find love or to find someone who would love me. But right now, I have a guy in my life who loves me so much and shows me with so much of love, care and attention..a guy who does his best for me..and this time i hope that nothing goes wrong..because i dont know if i will have the strength to handle another heartbreak.
*iloveukanagaraj*
12:28 AM
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
These past few days spend in my aunt's place has been such a relief for me. I had the best sleep there and feel abit better now. My parents have installed internet there in my Uncle's place cos apparently my sister is going mad without internet. And there is also SCV coming in by tmr in our room.
My parents are making the best out of the situation just for my sister and me. I feel so gifted to have such parents and i thank god for that.
Meanwhile, i went to meet Raj today at his place. Bumped into his brother and his grandmother. His brother heard me whining abit(so embarrassing).
The year is ending in just 3 wks plus more. Looking forward to a brand new year.
*ILoveUKanagaraj*
12:01 AM
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Circumstances tend to change a person's life very much. Everyone wont be the same all the time. Circumstances and the things that have happened in my life in these recent months have changed me so much that even i myself dont know who am i anymore. I used to be this gal who doesnt have any bad habits.. who was able to take stress and still carried on with life without much worries or sadness.
Now, i have started drinking and smoking. I wish i can stop myself from all this but they seem to provide me temporary relievement from my problems. I know that they are not permanent solutions to my worries or my depression. However, they peovide me with relief for jus that 5 mins when i smoke or the 30 mins when i drink. This is not an excuse for me to start all these habits but i cant help myself.
Having reached the age 21, i find myself facing so much difficulties and responsibilities are awaiting me. Planning to find a part time job and continue with teaching tuition till i graduate. Time seems to be passing so fast and so much needs to be done in so little time.
Despite not being the gal he expected me to be in the end, my bf still understands wad im going thru and still supports me in wadever i do and accepts me the way i am. Even though i know that deep down he does not like me smoking, he just accepts it because he knows that im so stressed right now and smoking is giving me the temporary relievement that i need.
Thanks lot sweetheart for being so understanding. The fact that u are beside me everyday gives me the tweeny weeny hope that things will get better soon. I Love U and U are like one of the best things that has ever happened to me in my life.
12:47 AM
